19th November 2010

It’s already 19^th November. Which means bb has only 11 days to get a pass in order for her to continue to stay in Singapore.

She has applied for extension. Well, not putting too much hope on that as if extension is so easily approved, people won’t have to resort to exit Singapore temporarily.

But, Still I have to put a strong front so that she won’t be stressed and worried.

I need to be positive in order to motivate her.

But I know I can’t.

The fear of her going back to Philippines haunted me since last night.

Ironically, if everything does not work out for her, she got to leave Singapore by 1^st December 2010. Which happens to our 2^nd year anniversary.

Wondering if this is a joke played by her grandpa and my uncle.

Wondering if this is their way of telling us that we will go through tougher ways to get things done together as a couple.

Even though Philippines is not super duper far from Singapore. But..

How can I live without her after having to be with her every single moment for the past 2 years?

I’ll miss her physical presence, her touches, her words, her naughtiness, her cheekiness, her playfulness, her seriousness.

To make things worse, it’s will be show next week. A week, which I am going to be terribly busy and stressed.

It will be worse, if next week is going to be her last week in Singapore.

Dear God,

I am running out of ways and means. Please enlighten me.

I am really at my loss end.

Even though, this is not the end of our relationship. I am going through a harder time than going through the previous failed relationship.

Dear God,

You have taken two of my loved ones last year. Can you please show me mercy to let Diane stay by my side?

I am really begging you now.

Helpless.

Was thinking of a perfect word to describe my current feeling.

Scared? Nervous? Anxious? Stress? Panic?

Finally, I landed on this particular one - Helpless.

Helpless because there's nothing that I can do with bb's unemployment status.

Helpless because there's nothing that I can do to get a S pass approved for bb.

Helpless because I don't earn so much to be able to let bb enjoy life without working.

Helpless because I am running out of ways to let bb stay by my side.

Helpless because I can't seem to have confident for next week show.

Helpless because it seems difficult for me to hit 3.5k this month.

Helpless because my showroom target is a goner.

Helpless because.. there's is so much limit to what I can do.

Helpless because I can't seem to stop having nightmare.

I'm drained with all stressful matter.

I am not prepared to begin life without baby by my side. Not yet.

2010 Birthday Celebration

Had a very memorable birthday celebration this year.

Decided to give myself a long break before going back to my endless work load.

Took a mixture of leave and off from 6th Oct till 12th Oct. 1 week leave.

I am so glad that I am able to spend the entire 7 days with my baby.

On 6th, it's a relax day. Baby cooked for me and we spent the day, watching tv.

On 7th, we went Universal Studio Singapore! Had lots of fun there!

On 8th till 10th, we flew to Phuket together with Jason and Grace.

Relax, Seafood, Beach, Sun, Fun, Laughter, Companion and Sex.

Muwhaha.. had a great relaxing time there.

On 11th and 12th, simply spent the day with baby, watched movie.. dinner...

=)

Looking forward to spend Baby's birthday! =)

Meaningless

Told myself most likely u won't reply.. I knew message was read. I saw that you were online. But.. You didn't reply.

Though I am mentally prepared that I won't receive a reply but still can't help it but to feel disppointment.


Maybe those words seem meaningless to u now..

Maybe me too...


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Loving you

I will behave the way you want me to.

Don't be alarmed if jk is gone.

Jk don't feel appreciated.

Jk don't feel important.

I gave people the trust they want.

I gave people the attention they need.

Yet, it was the trust I gave, the attention they need.. Took them away from me.

It's not easy for Jk to commit this much and faithfulness in this relationship.

Jk wants it to last.

Jk wanted it to last badly.

If u choose to loosen the grip of jk's, think again if u really want to.

Jk shdnt behave this way.

But if this is what u want from Jk.

Jk loves u. Jk will let u have what you want.

Sacrificing her wants and meeting your needs is all on her mind.

This shows how much Jk loves u.

If u r happy, Jk is happy.

Thus.. If being with your friends make u happier, Jk is willing to let you go.

Most importantly, Jk wants dha to be happy.

Worrying for you, makes dha more restricted.

Jk will refrain so.

If dha is happy. Jk is happy.

Won't stop dha being happy.

Jk will stand aside and stop preventing.

Jk, once again, feel worthless than the sand.


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14th month anniversary

It's our 14th months anniversary!!! I am So in love with her!!!

Hours after work

After a long day at work... I am so glad that I can see my baby... ^o^


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Morning rides

Love morning rides with bb.

Fetching her to and from work is never a chores. Love this special duty of mine. Glad that I am able to do it for her. Glad I am fortunate to do so.

Test

Test


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Testing

First blog entry using blogpress... Hehe


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